When you're worried about what someone thinks of you, it's rarely about that person's opinions of you.
It's about your own opinions of yourself. This happens when you present a version of yourself that you don't like, and you're left wondering what stupid or regretful things you may have said when you embodied that projection. It's only when you're back in the comforts of your true self where the spell is broken and you're left ruminating about what that prior version of you may have done.
The goal is to reduce the chances of these undesirable projections from emerging.
Whether you do it through self-reflection or through distancing yourself from those that detract from that goal, retaining equanimity amongst these selves gives you the confidence required to ground your identity. Because it's only through knowing yourself where you can assert that the opinions of others won't tamper with what you know to be true.
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